Jeanne and Moon Kitty

I really messed up this time.

Ootog applied to the Catenae and because of OOC holidays and commitments and not hearing anything from him I forgot all about his application for about three months when I sent him an email. I was hoping he'd be forgiving of my oversight and I could have him inducted in a few weeks because from what I had seen he had the mentality and skill to be an excellent chainer.

Unfortunately, this was not the case. Ootog was very upset with me personally and the Catenae as a whole. I admitted to being at fault and said that being angry towards the Catenae's standards and how we induct people was wrong because we have successfully inducted people using our methods before with no problems. I said that I'd do my best to make sure it wouldn't happen again and that this was the first time I had been so lax in my duties and that I was very sorry. He said we were dead as a guild and I told him that we're an affiliation and we never really had any affiliation hunts or other activities and that being a member just shows that we have certain skills and standards as chainers. He responded that we don't have any standards and that only Lorikeet and I seemed to be active members.

This could very well be true because when Lorikeet asked how to remove people from the affiliation I thought she was going to try to get me kicked out since she didn't like my responses to Ootog. I tried to be diplomatic but firm and it seemed I failed at both since Lorikeet wasn't try to kick me out but find a way as to how to quit herself. Soon after she left both the mailing list and the affiliation.

High Benevolence of the Sun Dragon Clan. That was my position until we got rid of kinships a while back. I can't help but think what a failure I probably was and would still be if I had that position. Certainly more than one person brought this to my attention. Maybe if I was better at diplomacy Ootog wouldn't have been so angry at the Catenae and myself and Lorikeet wouldn't have left. If I was more aware of the social community I wouldn't have been so selfish and put my Catenae duties to the side and done what I wanted to do instead.

Time... I've always had trouble with days and weeks and months passing to my surprise and not doing everything I wanted to or needed to. I let my life slip through my fingers and as a result I sometimes fail to complete the promises I make to other people even though I really intend to do what I say. A person's word is the most important thing a person can have and a strong connection to other people. If my word means nothing then not only can other people believe what I say but I won't believe what I say.

I know I have gone a long way in my time management and I'm a lot better than I used to be but I can't rest in becoming better and more understanding of what I can and can't do so I don't stretch myself too thin. I have to be less selfish and do what must be done and should be done before goofing off and wasting time. I have to always strive to improve my relations with others so that I can speak better and convey what I want so that there will be no confusion or anger.

I must not let time slip through my fingers and harsh words spoken when they are unnecessary.

I have said this before and I improve for a couple of months only to slip back into my old habits. This time I must truly not let this happen.

I'd write more but I must get back to my fighting lessons.